I have to admit it, to my eternal shame, I have actually sat in front of Facebook and spent a good five minutes trying to think of something funny to say … and then failed miserably, so turned to google for assistance. I also know, through doing so, that some of my friends have done this too.
At least it seems that thousands of other people also lack the creativity gene and to make up for my failings, I present to you the 50 funniest Facebook status / status’s / statuses / stati….?!?
All of these status updates are genuinely real, but for the benefit of this article, my subjects need to have a names, so lets call them Dave and Katie – just to place that little bit of extra emphasis on my complete lack of creativity. It’s not really appropriate to give people’s real names, but the ‘Daves’ were male, and the ‘Katies’ were female …
The Funny Status Updates …
Dave : feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
Katie : used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.
Dave : is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…
Katie : dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
Dave : says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Katie: is cle’a]ni.ng he’r ke]yb29oa;rd
Dave : is wondering why his daughter’s diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.
Katie : is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Dave : doesn’t suffer from insanity… he enjoys every minute of it.
Katie : ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
Dave : is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Katie : thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”
Dave : before you use the bathroom in someones house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!
Funny Facebook Updates Continued …
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Dave : Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
Katie : “Good morning…I see the assassins have failed.”
Dave : is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.
Katie : Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.
Dave : is normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
Katie : is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf’s a minute
Dave : just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
Katie : would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook.
Dave : believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
Katie : ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
Dave : Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”